Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Baby Girl is here!

Praise the Lord our daughter is here and she is amazing.  Within minutes she has completely changed Michelle and I's love; love for each other, love for our family and friends and most importantly love for our heavenly Father.  For the previous 40 weeks (today being her actual due date) we have prayed for a natural delivery but in the final moments before birth, all we cared about was Sofia's safety.  Now 5 days later, our little miracle is happy, safe and with every minute we love her more and think she is more precious. Even today I spent 3 hours at work and could not be home quick enough just to see her.  The other remarkable thing is my wife has blossomed! In the middle of the night I will wake to see her staring at our daughter completely mesmerized with her.  To me this is the most beautiful thing in the world.  My wife, completely in love with our family and our new life! 
I hope not to bore you (truthfully this is for our own record) but if you are interested; here are the order of events that transpired on 12.9.11, Sofia's birth!   This is written as I (Justin) experienced it, but Michelle will add as she wants (in pink). Friday at 10:00am we were to be at Medical Center of Plano to prep Michelle for an external version / C Section.  The day started out weird, kind of like the feeling before going on vacation... anticipation, worry, anxiousness, etc. Looking back it was because we were mentally preparing for the birth of our daughter, not for returning home.  Michelle and I got about 30 minutes of of cuddle time, and my last time to feel Sofia in my wife's belly; which at the time I wish I had known.  We had a good prayer and daddy talked with his daughter telling her not to be afraid and to listen to the doctors... Sofia had the biggest job of all and she needed to know it.  I got out of bed and made some coffee and dove into the word for some wisdom as Michelle showered.  Together we went through our final check list of items in case we were to be at the hospital more than just for the version. 

It was foggy outside, about 40 degrees.  I walked out on our back porch to steal a minute alone and to call Jackie.  We spoke for about 10 minutes.  We needed to.  This was also the first time of the day that I cried, not to be the last. I walked inside and Michelle could tell I was upset but her response I will never forget, "Would you rather have Jackie her for one day our would you rather have your kids grow up together." She was right.  It was time to go, 9:25 and Michelle, Gloria (Michelle's mom) and I left for the hospital.

The two things I remember most about the morning were 1) how overcome with the spirit I was and 2) how beautiful my bride looked.  She was truly as vibrant as our wedding day!  We got to the hospital in a little under 30 minutes and walked straight to labor and delivery with just the cloths on our back.  Room LD 17 was ours and we were immediately approached by our nurses Jody and Kimiesa (Kim).  We went though the normal routine, DOB, weight, family history.  I remember this was when I started to get really nervous.  The CRNA Andrea, who ended up being one of our favorites, asked if anyone in Michelle's family ever failed to wake up from anesthesia.  My eyes were glued to the fetal monitor and my thoughts on my Michelle.  Epidurals were something we both wanted to avoid but was important to relax Michelle's uterus increasing the successes of the procedure.  I held Michelle's hands and stared into those beautiful eyes as the medicine was applied and began to take hold.  Within minutes nausea began to overcome Michelle.  I remember her saying, "this is why I did not want a C Section." For my wife it was not just about the feeling but about the loss of control she now felt.

Michelle's heart rate/Blood pressure dropped sharply bringing on the nausea.  Her blood pressure read 70/35.  The nurses administered ephedrine to increase her vital signs.  Baby's during all this was fine.  Shortly after 12 Dr. Arlene Jacobs and her partner Dr Moss arrived. After a few," how you feelings," and "any questions" we began, it was 12:30.  In the room were the two nurses, patient, both Doctors, Michelle's mom and I.  For me and Glo, the sight of a version was horrifying, unbearable to watch.  The doctor's literally pushed, probed and manipulated her (Sofia) so that Michelle's belly looked as if it wasn't part of her own.  Because of the epidural, Michelle was in no pain, but after 5 to 7 minutes the baby was.  At about half turned, or verted, Sofia's heart rate dropped drastically.  So much so that they applied oxygen to Michelle, Bad Sign!  Abruptly they stopped the version because the baby was not tolerating it, later to find it was because of a shorter umbilical cord.  This is when everything changed for me.  Now both momma and baby are in trouble. Dr Jacobs looked at Michelle and with sorrowful eyes apologized that it was not working.  Michelle cared about only one thing at this point, Sofia's safety! All the worry of epidurals, natural births, c sections, none of that mattered.  With tears streaming down her face she just nodded her approval.  I leaned down kissed my wife on her face and whispered, Sofia is coming!

For me a lot of my emotions of the day came from sharing the experience with others.  My parents, and sisters were anxiously waiting word.  As they frivolously worked on Michelle I turned to Glo and with tear filled eyes I told her to call my parents who were literally waiting at the airport to board a plane... or not.  "Get on that Plane!"  As I put on my scrubs I sent a quick text to Jackie and J D that simply said, "Sofia is coming today!"

I would not leave my wife's side as they wheeled her back to the OR.  Given the success rate of external versions (50%) hospitals prep OR in case what happened happens.  1:00, Michelle and I were hand in hand discussing how out of body this whole thing felt.  Her adrenaline was evident by her shaking which was wildly uncontrollable. A blue curtain was placed at Michelle's chest dividing us from the sight of the surgery.  Dr Jacobs came to me and explained she will let me know when I can look, which felt almost instantaneous.  at 1:28 pm, 3.5 hours after arriving at the hospital and about 30 after being placed in the OR, Dr Jacobs said, here she comes! Camera in hand I stood and peered over the divide to see the emergence of Sofia. Butt first followed by the first cries of our new baby girl! Sofia was born.  One sight I will remember for the rest of my life, a sight that will forever take my breathe away, and a feeling that will always make me smile, laugh, cry, and praise, was the sight of Dr Jacobs place a crying baby girl over the partition to a crying Michelle reaching for her baby girl's hand.  As if a life flashed before my eyes, I witnessed a love that everyone claims you can't describe but only experience.  Yes it was amazing! Yes hearing my daughter cry her first breathe was life changing! Yes I will be forever changed as of 1:28 pm on 12.9.11 but of all things that truly touched my soul was seeing Michelle experience exactly the same thing!

Praise be to God!

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